Today, most of us
are obsessed with success. We are motivating the kids (as teachers/tutors/parents) to put in their best and
succeed. We are delighted when they bring in the shining scores, and secretly,
but briefly, feel guilty when we see them regularly sacrificing their play-hours for tuition
classes. We hope that delivering to the best of their abilities becomes a habit for them.
How do we teach them now to put in their best, but without being exploited, when they would be working as executives some years later?
How do we teach them now to put in their best, but without being exploited, when they would be working as executives some years later?
The story of
two brothers!
“I told Ron to
erase his ‘e’s for they resembled ‘i’s. He refused after two unsuccessful
attempts,” Minnie, my neighbor said resignedly, adding after a short silence, “Paul
would rub his letters even ten times whenever I told him to.” Ron and
Paul are her two sons, five years separating them.
Ron is a happy-go-lucky, bold
six-year-old who comes across as a precocious boy, speaking his mind and not
hesitating to shout at his closest pals whenever they don’t see eye to eye or
whenever his tank’s tap of patience (quite tiny) runs dry or whenever his
opponent in a game, the two are playing, is slow. Bright that he is, his age is
too less to help him understand that he is gifted and most are not.
His brother, Paul, eleven years old,
has always been the industrious, quieter kind of boy who is happy with his
school books and outdoor sports. Overly sensitive about praise and criticism,
he goes all out of his way to please his parents, keeping his calendar blocked
for five different hobby classes for the five week-days, if his mother thinks
it necessary. He doesn’t seem to mind the grind he goes through and the free
time he is denied, things his peers and friends are unfamiliar with, all
because he knows very well how all this makes his mother happy. He is not the
one to break her heart in the smallest way.
What do you call this? Is it
obedience? Respect for parents? Or is it that he doesn’t have a mind of his
own? Or is it a desire to be better than he can be? Or is it a great desire to
stay in his mother’s good books? Ron’s only drawback is – his over-confidence.
Paul’s is – his hypersensitivity. Ron believes he is always the best. Paul
believes he is not doing enough if he is not excelling in whatever he does and
mopes about when his performance doesn’t keep him in the top bracket. Ron doesn’t
care about stress. He is never stressed-out. Paul is often stressed-out – he
takes too many things in his plate and tries to juggle them all with panache.
It’s a little too early to predict
what future holds for each of them if the two brothers continue to be what they
are. Certainly, childhood is moving a bit fast for Paul. But how does that
translate to real life? How do you think he’ll handle expectations of people
around him?
The rest is in my book Rays and Rains (e-book available at a much lower price).
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