Thursday, July 30, 2015

What's the big deal?

A famous ex-president of India had once observed we are very much into collecting foreign products. (It’s almost a kind of craze with us, I guess). He said - Self-respect comes from self-reliance.

I can afford it.What's the big deal?

I was away at work while it was one of those days when my four-year-old wasn’t feeling on top of the world. When my in-laws could no longer handle a cranky grandchild, they had to take resort to a brand new model of a bulldozer (on my suggestion over the phone) kept ready for him in a cupboard stocked in advance with a few toys…..A friend once remarked out of surprise, on seeing me purchasing gifts for my son quite often, “Are you sure you are not getting him too much? It may not be all that good for his creativity, you know.”
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A famous ex-president of India had once observed we are very much into collecting foreign products. (It’s almost a kind of craze with us, I guess). He said - Self-respect comes from self-reliance. Often, without batting an eyelid, we shell out thousands for a branded toy that is from a foreign manufacturer, never or rarely sparing a thought for the local toys coming from manufacturers striving to make their mark in this toy industry or like the Channapatta wooden toy makers from our very own India are struggling for survival.

Ever wondered why topics like child obesity, childhood diabetes and reduced academic performance never made it to the news in the past? It’s a pity, but many young children of our city guiltlessly settle for an hour of gadget-time in lieu of an active hour in the midst of friends in fresh air in the park or playground that would do tons of good to their brain and body. What about social skills? Aren’t they getting neglected? What about the lazy hour spent with the toy alone? Or an hour spent before the screen with Nintendos or PS2s&3s? With famous companies investing time for research and money to come up with exorbitantly priced (but highly addictive for the young children of impressionable age) gadgets for today’s rich parents to quickly grab them to give them the feeling “This will keep my child happy,”, the laws of toy-making art has slowly but silently changed – a strong skill that inspired creativity in children has been stolen by the money-making toy manufacturers of today.

And now realization dawns on me when I am reminded of how my father scouted the markets for days to get a wooden toy for my son on his birthday, not falling to the temptation of numerous branded toys made of plastic. Was he trying to pass on a strong message to all of us?

Maybe we could go for a balanced mix of reasonably priced branded toys (that do not encourage long, sluggish hours at home on a chair) and locally made toys that promote the inborn creativity in children and inspire them to come up with better versions of them on their own (with a little bit of science acquired from books and school).

Is it only to appease the child or is it also to feed our ego that we go for pricey toys? “Yes, I can afford it, so what’s the big deal? For the people raising a hue and cry over it, it’s just ‘Grapes our sour’!” and disdainfully we can walk away, shaking our heads at how a storm is being created over a teacup.

After I left work, it took me quite some time to realize I had perhaps been on my way to creating a Frankestein in my own home. I thought it strange that my son still hankered for toys even though I was at home and he got my company. Fact is the damage had already been done! Addiction to toys had already set in, something that I had unwittingly created in him! It took more than a year for some sense to prevail on him.

The rest is in my book Rays and Rains (e-book available at a much lower price).
A trip through Rays and Rains
Reviews


Tuesday, July 14, 2015

How many budding book reviewers can we see?

Click here to know more - It's time to put on the book reviewer's shoes!

A book review contest for children of all age groups being organized by ParentEdge. It sure would prod on the kids to be at their 'literary' best!


Saturday, July 11, 2015

Band-Aid

Some years ago, when I was a full-time working mother, a small event in my son’s life helped me accept that a child’s friend can relegate the mother to a backseat in her son’s world, at least temporarily………….

“Why did you leave me and go to her house?” my son sounded devastated as he came up the steps, his friend following him.
“They called me for snacks. My mom was there too. So I went.” Dev was not convinced. That his friend alone was invited and he was forgotten obviously hurt him.
He picked up his recent most acquisition, a tool set, complete with hammers and spanners. Dangling it right before Ravi’s nose, he triumphantly declared – “My papa got it for ME from U.S.. I’m never going to share this with you!”
Not to be outdone, Ravi promptly took up his long-forgotten badminton racket from Dev’s toy basket, retaliating, “This is MINE, not yours!” So the battle had begun…..it was almost time for adult intervention.

Dev and Ravi are next-door neighbours and soulmates….well, almost. Their families stay in the same apartment. The kids’ screams and laughter on every holiday they share keep our building alive. Ravi’s mother rushed in, blissfully unaware of the latest in the series of hot-and-cold sessions of the two pals. Giving me a hurried account of their busy day ahead, Sona coaxed her son away for lunch. Her timing could not have been better.
My four-year old looked up at me, his eyes two small pools about to overflow. He has always refused to accept that he too has been equally disloyal to Ravi in the past, leaving him alone during peak hours of their play sessions to attend birthday parties, armed with full knowledge that cute ‘return gifts’ awaited him there.

The issue of why his bosom friend had separated from him voluntarily on a holiday lay unresolved. And the risk of Saturday lunch slipping away from being the usual family event loomed large. The occasion demanded that I help my son through this heart-breaking episode. Taking up the challenge, I said “Never mind, you two will be friends again when both of you can forgive and forget. Now, does our sweet angel know what surprise I have for him?” It was a cream roll I had fortunately stored in the refrigerator. The “forgive-and-forget” was one of my many attempts to help my son get over such small shows of betrayal from his friends though it didn’t help much. My little one sat stiff, his face dark with sadness and anger.

I hated to take the aid of the television, so set about blending a pineapple juice, his favourite dessert. Lunch and yummy dessert over, Dev’s spirits up again, and my husband’s cell-phone put on “mute”, the Saturday held the promise of long-awaited, precious few hours with just the three of us playing chess and trying out origami shapes. I am a working mother, staying away from home for twelve hours a day, five days a week. The fast pace of modern life and endless list of household chores squeezed into the little spare time my hectic schedule allows me doesn’t give me much time for bonding with my only child. Matters get more difficult when there are two soul-mates separated by just a few yards. The next few hours disappeared in origami and puzzles and updates on the latest happenings at his school - enough to make my husband retire for a nap, smug with the feeling of having spent good amount of quality time with his family.




Monday, July 6, 2015

The Death of Curiosity!

Are we killing a few Einsteins and Newtons as we let curiosity die a slow, silent death?

Studying doesn’t mean loading the head with facts and figures, rather it means comprehending something once and for all...

Years back, my son (now in teens) was preparing for his third grade annual exams. A chapter in his Environmental Science was dedicated to the universe and there was everything from the sun to earth to moon. When he came to the ‘different phases of moon’, there were quite a few hiccups and no matter how much I tried to make him visualize the different positions of moon with respect to earth and sun, he preferred to take a short-cut when things got a little complicated. The short-cut was learning by heart! Hadn’t it been explained in school? It had been. It bothered me to no end that he had silently taken the route of cramming when the time came to dive deep to understand what was actually happening! I found it difficult to explain to him that learning a conceptual thing is not a quick, single step. It involves knowing the facts, relating them and imagining what could result from stringing the facts in the right order. And that is where the hitch is. Beyond a point, he could not imagine or he did not want to take the pains of imagining when the easier option lay before him – memorise and throw it up when needed.

Checking with children in the neighbourhood, I was surprised to find most of them stood in the same bracket as my son. They were happier cramming than sitting down to relish the ‘why’s and ‘how’s of things. What was wrong? Flipping through the pages of different books, there seemed to be nothing amiss. The illustrations were great, there were photographs that supported the information neatly laid out in sections, there were experiments described that could be carried out at home. There were some questions that were brainteasers too! Then why didn’t the children love to think and understand and then learn?

It’s widely known that children are born curious, they are born inquisitive. Somewhere along the way these precious traits are lost! What goes wrong?!

I looked deep inside me and an ugly answer began raising its head.

It was me, the culprit. As a parent, I wanted my son to excel in his studies, to stay somewhere at the top. How could that be achieved? Good grades, of course! And how was that to be accomplished? Well, with spending the major part of the day with a variety of subjects and extra-curricular activities in and out of school, was there any scope of delving into the depths of a subject, look for the links between the different portions of a chapter and glow with understanding that suddenly fills the learner with thrill?


In the rapid, mad rush to accumulate information and reproduce it on the answer sheets, aren’t the young learners missing out something vital during their journey? Are we giving them ample time to look for the pearls in the ocean of knowledge or are we hurrying them, pushing them too much to move fast to that one goal – GET GOOD GRADES! SOMEHOW! Are we allowing them enough time to ponder over what they’ve just got to know? To try out what they’ve learnt from books? Are we not denying them the satisfaction of trying out something they’ve got to know? In the pursuit of grades and marks, are we allowing them enough time to develop love for any one subject?





Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Watching film ‘Sound of Music’ with my young daughter and letting my thoughts flow unfettered.....


The story of Robert Wise’s classic film “The Sound of Music”.......

Life’s lessons packaged with profound truths in a great film meant for all, forever....

Love conquers all. A woman’s love for music, children and Nature brings everlasting dramatic changes in an Austrian family during the days of Nazi rule.

Maria plans to be a nun but isn’t cut out for it. Reverend Mother of Salzburg Abbey in Austria sends her to be the governess of the seven motherless children of Captain Von Trapp, a retired Naval Officer. Their hostility towards governesses is no match for Maria’s kind heart that helps her realize that they are growing up in a loveless stifling environment of discipline enforced by their father.

When the Captain is away from home, Maria’s love for the hills and trees takes her and the children to the lap of Nature. There she gives them the first lessons of music and the long-forgotten taste of freedom from a strict routine by picnicking on lush green meadows, running with rivers, climbing on trees and rowing boat in a placid lake, and wins over seven hearts effortlessly. Straightforward that she is, during an argument with the Captain, Maria tells him to bridge the growing gap between him and his children through love again. The haughty and authoritarian Captain talks tough with her only to be overwhelmed by a song his children, tutored by Maria, sing to the baroness. Overnight he mellows down to an affectionate father.

With time, Maria and Captain get drawn towards each other but the baroness plays spoilsport. Stung by her words Maria returns to the Abbey, confused by her own feelings towards Captain. Meanwhile the baroness gets engaged to Captain. Shocked that Maria has left for good, the children, in desperation, try to meet her in vain. Reverend Mother, with the wisdom of her silver years, advises Maria never to run away from problems, rather face them, by returning to Captain’s house.
Almost instinctively, Captain calls off his engagement to the baroness. The moment it dawns on him that he is in love with Maria, he hesitatingly approaches her in his sprawling garden where two hearts unite at last! With the Nazis capturing Captain’s dear homeland, a sudden call of duty far away from home threatens to separate him from his family but music again comes to their rescue! During their performance at a concert, they cleverly leave the place to seek refuge in the Abbey from where they finally escape to Switzerland, to freedom!

What I and you too may love about this evergreen film “The Sound of Music”......

A musical, it is a breath of fresh air, soothing nerves and souls. Music here holds the characters and events, bonding seven children, their governess and their father effortlessly with the passage of time. The charm of the story lies in the different struggles of the different people who are all striving to overcome obstacles in the path towards happiness – the story of millions of us. The children try to come close to their father, Captain tries to forget memories of his dear, dead wife and Maria tries hard to be a nun. 
Without the silent struggle, the journey of each of them would lose its song.

“Sound of Music” is etched in my mind for its eternal truth – life is all about what choices we make. Maria chooses to bond with the children in the face of hostility. Dictatorial Captain chooses to metamorphose into an affectionate father and later again chooses to break his engagement to marry Maria who brings sunshine in his life. The film deftly shows what optimism can do. Maria’s initial hesitation evident during her first trip to Captain’s house as she asks herself “Why am I so scared?” is swiftly replaced with a confidence growing from her great attitude. She is an embodiment of courage and an infectious optimism as she returns to Captain’s house to find out if she is destined to share his future and later when she gently urges Lisl, Captain’s teenager daughter, to move on with life after her first heartbreak.

“Sound of Music” magnetizes me with ethereally beautiful scenes of Austria’s natural beauty of hills crowned with trees sheltering chirping birds, lakes interspersing green meadows and brooks tripping over stones.

The director gives every character a fair share of screen presence (wise Reverend Mother, scheming baroness, suave Max and so on) and gives us a balanced mix of humour, love, joy, suspense and happiness, laced with feelings of patriotism and finally peace as significant events of world history – rise of Hitler and the Nazi rule – unfold, forming the backdrop. I love the unique way two different kinds of love – blossoming passionate teenage love and a calm, matured love that later culminates in marriage – happen in the same garden, both in silvery night, at two different points of time.

The film’s evergreen songs carry many beautiful messages.
“Climb every mountain” encourages you to cross obstacles to hunt for your dream and live it.
Maria's beautifully sung “nothing comes from nothing”, helps one realize that beautiful moments take birth in noble actions of the past.
And if you yearn to overcome sadness, you could begin humming “a few of my favourite things”!

“Sound of Music” is life’s lessons packaged with profound truths - “walls are not built to shut out problems” and one has to face them, “you have to live the life you were born to live” and good times follow difficult times just as “the sun comes out” after the night.

One single film carries so many gifts that I too realized later!